bk!

In Massachusetts, there are as many obscure & ancient laws as any other state in the nation (although ours are older, and it’s a Commonwealth, mind you). It wasn’t until last year that the packies* were allowed to open on Sundays. In a contentious battle between stores just out of the New Hampshire buffer zone (stores there were allowed to open in order to compete with the Live-Free-or-Die-I’m-Opening-on-Sunday stores in New Hampshire) and liquor store owners who didn’t really want to work on Sunday, Massachusetts finally amended the liquor blue laws to allow Sunday sales outside the holiday season. Whew. Good news for football fans everywhere. Connecticut and Rhode Island residents aren’t as fortunate, but lucky for them, they live near Massachusetts if they get a strong hankering for the strong stuff come Sundays.

It would seem that Massachusetts has finally rejected the puritanical grip of the blue laws that have plagued New Englanders for some three-hundred years. Alas, in the birthplace of Thanksgiving, it is nigh impossible to purchase a turkey on Thanksgiving Day (or Christmas, for that matter). New Englanders are well accustomed to all manner of laws that try to prevent us from straying from Church on Sundays to frolick in the decidedly ungodly delights of drinking, gaming, and purchasing retail items. For ten years, since we voted to allow store openings during Summer holidays, we’ve been terribly complacent. Now that we can’t really battle over liquor sales, it’s time for us to raise arms against the ancient laws that would prevent us from buying turkey dressings when they are so desperately needed.

Last week, Shaw’s Supermarket officials caught wind of Whole Foods’ dastardly plan to utilize volunteer employee labor (at double the going rate) to open on Thanksgiving day. Massachusetts Attorney General Tom Reilly, the champion, really, of retail laborers,** swiftly put an end to the insidious scheme, strongly warning Whole Foods and other retailers (including Wal-Mart, which was open in some areas of the nation on Thursday) that opening on Thanksgiving could subject them to ”criminal and equitable enforcement actions to enjoin violations of the Blue Laws.” [link] In short, workers should rest, and families should stay home eating turkey.

But what about the poor souls depending on Whole Foods’ well-advertised Open-on-Thanksgiving promotion? I’ll bet that more than a few poor souls counting on fresh free-range organic poultry were forced instead to dine out (McCormick & Schmick’s looked particularly busy last night). Even in Connecticut, whose fine citizens originally dreamt up the brilliant blue law plan, chefs were allowed to visit Whole Foods for their last-minute gourmet emergencies. Alas, in the Commonwealth, we were bereft of any opportunities to snag some organic fruits for our desserts on Thanksgiving Day proper.

Yes, Whole Foods should have known better, and got caught with their britches down. They’d applied last year (and were granted) special permits for some stores to remain open in Massachusetts. Perhaps they thought it wasn’t the unholiest of unholies, or took a gamble betting that the AG wouldn’t actually enforce the law.*** They truly should have known the law, that they intended to flagrantly violate it, and that Shaw’s would no doubt duel them over the openings.

Brilliantly, Shaw’s wrote: ”We believe that allowing Whole Foods to open on Thanksgiving Day will create an unlevel playing field for all other retail grocers … Besides disadvantaging competitors, a Whole Foods opening would harm consumers, due to lack of choice in the marketplace for consumers to shop and compare prices for the best deal.” [link] Now, were it not illegal to open on Thanksgiving, you can bet your bottom dollar that plenty of grocers and retailers would choose to open. As for the protection of consumers, they are no doubt smart enough to know that a store open on Thanksgiving is a Good Thing. They aren’t worried about comparision shopping - they’re worried about their cranberry chutneys!

Interestingly enough, the parity rationale for store closings on certain days has been used before — in the liquor store debate. Many stores, often owner-operated, complained that they didn’t want to work on Sundays, yet if allowed, they would have to, in order to compete. This here is what we call the free market. It certainly is a curious feature of American economy. If we can agree it’s not a strong enough rationale to keep liquor on the table on Sundays, it certainly isn’t enough to not keep food on the table come Thanksgiving. (Oh poor yams sans non-gelatin marshmallows!!)

What about the forlorn souls that are forced to work on holidays? Having spent all day in my office yesterday, I can well testify that the city was vacant, yet bustling in an odd, erie sort of way. The T employees seemed to have no problems showing up for work on Thanksgiving, and I’d venture they likely have the same sort of schedules as grocery store workers. I’d imagine there would be plenty of volunteers to work on the holidays at double-overtime, if statutorily required.

Despite the yammering of the AG’s office, it was not enough to keep the good people of Massachusetts from indulging in some retail pleasures. My local Walgreen’s was packed to the gills. And the good people at Super 88 markets (catering to those with a taste for Asian food) were caught completely unawares of the blue law restrictions altogether. All 6 branches were open for business; although one store was shut down by the police (alerted by a tip, no less! I must wonder about the reward sum for alerting the police to such heinous activity!), the rest were allowed to remain open. The Managers at the Super 88 (which celebrates the Chinese New Year by closing) had absolutely no clue that they were violating the law by keeping their markets open. One wonders what the Attorney General has up its sleeve as a penalty - or if they care, since it’s not a large competitor to Shaw’s.

So good people, celebrate your freedom by patronizing your markets during the holidays. Some of us, despite living in the birthplace of the American Revolution, are unable to exercise the freedom to purchase Tofurky and artisanal cheeses to celebrate our food-oriented national treasure of a holiday.

* A packie is a package or liquor store, for those not familiar with our foreign New England words. Still can’t buy alcohol in the grocery stores, save for a very select few.

** Before electronic pricing was allowed in Massachusetts (of which O’Reilly was a strong proponent), one crusading gentleman, being completely rebuffed by the AG’s office in his complaints about retailers who failed to individually price each item, eventually succeeded in forcing the AG to sue retailers for their lack of non-compliance with the consumer protection statute. The office actually made a pretty penny off retailer’s disregard for the law. Now we can have our cake, and eat it too — as long as the electronic scanners actually work correctly.

*** See Footnote **. I’ve no doubt that the AG wouldn’t have cared a whit if not pressured by Shaw’s.

UPDATE: Upon opening my feedreader for the first time in a little less than a week, I see that Bostonist’s Josh Michtom also had a post on Massachusetts Blue Laws. I wasn’t copying you, I promise Josh! (and email me while you’re at it, eh?)